I had a terrible experience today at the 5th Ave dog run by the Old Stone House. An aggressive truck of a woman with a shepherd mix and an abundance of leisure time stopped me and my dog from entering the park, and by “stopped” I mean physically blocked the entrance, called me a “bitch”, and said that my dog and I would enter “over her dead body.”
I wish that I were joking about this.
It was like walking into an episode of COPS.
Now I’ve dealt with my share of crazy dog people before but this lady was a whole new level of lunatic. She calIed me Dorothy and accused me of being from Kansas. KANSAS!
This would not stand. Rather than face a physical confrontation with this stool sample I called the cops on her after she quite elegantly volunteered to “kick my ass.” The police were nice enough to stop by and let her know that she was neither the boss of the dog park, nor the President of Armenia.
I had unfortunately previously encountered this beastly woman. I warn you Park Slopers to tread carefully because the wicked witch may come for you and your little dogs next.
A few months back our dogs were in the park together with a few others. This woman…let’s just call her Ava Braun was waving a stick in the air to throw. My dog (being a dog) jumped up to get the stick. She was less than a year old at the time and still mastering the command “Down”. Ava yelled out “You had better get your dog off of me. I have a head injury.” Now in hindsight this should have been abundantly clear. However at the time I apologized and pulled my dog back. Then at some point during the course of play our two dogs got into a tussle. Nothing too vicious mind you, no blood or anything, just your average carried away dog scuffle. So Ava pretty much lost her shit on me all while warning me that she may indeed lose said shit. “Get your fucking aggressive dog out of here before I lose it!”
I am sure I asked her not to swear at me and assured her that my dog was not aggressive but had just gotten overly excited as her dog had seemingly also done. This just seemed to make Ava angrier and apparently “we would no like Ava when she angry”. So the pooch and I decided to abandon the park for the time being and pray for a return to a Democratic regime.
That was the last time we had the misfortune of running into Ava until today’s sorry incident. I pray that this will be the last I see of her but I seriously doubt it. Ava has a lot of free time but only so many more summer afternoons left to ruin. The boyfriend will be coming with me to the park from now on just in case she wants to get frisky with me again.
Incidentally my dog came home from the day’s events and viciously licked my feet for a while, ferociously attacked an ice cube, and passed out while I was rubbing her belly. Clearly we are both a menace to society.